Shout Out to my best friend

Here is a shout out to my girl Michelle.

I wish I could have my best friend here with me. Sometimes I need grounding, I need to be told to slow down. I need to be told to come in the house. Stop working. Sometimes I need help with things like relaxing or not stressing over how people might react. Do they like me, should I care. Is my house clean, should I care. Is my yard picked up enough, should I care. 

I need my honey to help ground me and tell me she loves me. I could go days now without anyone telling me they love me. This is ok, I guess. Not something I am used to though. This was commonplace for us. We would tell each other frequently that we loved each other. It meant something. They weren’t just words. I remember looking her in the eyes saying “I am IN love with you” for me those were different words. Loving someone and being in love with someone are different. I miss the smile she would give me. Her love she would show me. I miss my friend. It’s not fair that she is gone now, and I am all alone. It’s not fair that I am the one crying. Why is this so hard. Why did she have to go. I want to see those beautiful loving blue eyes longing to look at me again. I miss her loving me. I miss being loved. I miss hearing “I love you” or “I love you too”. How about “Hi Honey” or “Hey babe”. Ok I need to stop. If I was writing this on paper it would be all wet from my tears. I miss you so much Chele. Not pain, emptiness. Not loss, just not fair.