Back Porch Time

I ate some ice cream on the back porch. It was a nice evening. 

I was wishing Chele could have enjoyed it with me. She would have been cold toward the end but would have enjoyed looking out at the lake as the sun went down. 

Chele loved the back porch. She loved the sunsets. It made me sad. I cried a few times throughout the day. I don’t think it is fair, but I don’t have anyone to complain that to. Nobody who really wants to listen to it anyway. 

I was so lucky to have her for so long. Just not lucky enough to still have her. 

I miss her so much. She completes me still. 

When I do things, I still do them for her. 

When I say things, I think of her. 

When I walk, I think of her. 

When I talk, she comes to mind. I watch tv, listen to music, type on the computer, pet the dog, eat, sleep, dream – I think of her. 

She is so much a part of me. 

All I can do now is share things with her in my head. That sounds crazy, and probably is. I will keep it to myself. I love you Chele.