Triggers

Why do I get so snappy babe? Is it because I miss you?

I have a list of “Brian” triggers, I’m told by friends.

No hugs, don’t ask how he is doing, don’t ask him if he needs anything, don’t give him space, give him space. Don’t park there, clean up your trash, chew with your mouth shut, no food in the trash, just let him clean up.

I guess you grounded me my love. I have nothing but time now, time spent in grief and finding small things that irritate me. I need your smile, your voice. I need to care for you and you for me. There are so many who praise how I took care of you during our cancer journey. Do they know that you too were taking care of me? Now you aren’t. I didn’t have these feelings when you were here. These triggers, well mostly, weren’t here. A void.

I love you Michelle Anne Luck. You were truly one of a kind. I was fortunate to have you for the short period of time I did. Just 1/3 of your life.

Always,

Brian