Today is the day Chele and I would ALWAYS get our live and freshly cut Christmas tree.
Here is a story from the last time I went to the tree farm. I am not sure I will go again. Today I was all up in my emotions, so it was not right for me today.
Friday, November 24th 2023
I fed Chele some lunch then laid her down for a nap. I went to the tree farm to get a tree. My thought was to get out there, find a tree and get back as soon as possible. I took the backroads into Elgin, so traffic was light. I got to the tree farm without incident.
I jumped on the hayride, the very slow hayride. On the melancholy ride my thoughts weren’t so slow. What about the saw you dummy. They should have one for you at the hayride stop, problem solved. I started looking at the other passengers and realized I forgot to check in. I did not get my tree tag. How can I get a tree without a tag? Impossible. My thoughts immediately shifted to jumping off the ride. This would cause attention and unneeded drama. Wait it out, I thought. JUMP! the inner child in me said. I listened to the more mature Brian and waited. I exited as soon as I could and used a speed walk to walk the 5-mile trek. An over exaggeration possibly but it was at the farthest reaches of the tree farm they brought us this year.
On my involuntary Black Friday 5k race back to the starting line, I realized I forgot my phone in the truck. What a perfect day this has turned out to be. I speed walk right past the starting point and head over to my truck, parked at the farthest reaches of the lot due to the size, and I grab my phone. I call Chele. She does not answer. Womp womp. Now I am worried sick.
A bit of irritation has now set in. I just wasted a ton of time on the tree farm. I was alone this year. This used to be a time Chele and I would spend together. For the past 20 years we have gone out and cut a tree down for Christmas together. For the first time ever, I go alone. Of course, it would be a nightmare. I was finally able to get a hold of Chele, she was sleeping. All was fine there. I should have used a camera, then I could have checked on her.
Now back to the starting point. I got a tree tag, no hayride this time. I see there is an open field with trees not far away from where I got my tree tag. I head out and find a tree within 2 minutes. It takes me a few tries to get it cut down, but I get it done eventually. I drag it back to the processing area with ease. Just my luck a tractor full of happy tree choppers shows up at the exact same time I do. Nobody has been there for the past 20 minutes but as soon as I get my tree cut and ready for processing, this tractor shows up. In with the mix, it goes.
I waited for my ticket to be called then I got to pay for my tree. I have a prepaid card I wanted to use. It expired at the end of November. If I didn’t use it, I’d lose $41. My first try at it was a failure. It was declined. I quickly realized that I did not activate it. I stepped aside to activate the card. I scraped the numbers off the activation sticker, so I needed to call the 800 number to activate it. After successful activation, I waited in line again. The cashier tried my card again and once again it failed. She claims it is her register and I should attempt to use the register at the gift shop. I mosey over to the gift shop and wait in line there, then get called to another booth where I wait in another line. After waiting there, the cashier attempts my prepaid visa card, and it is declined. He said they have been having issues with Visa cards all day. I pulled out my USAA Visa and he grumbled something under his breath. I started thinking, oh my I don’t have anything other than Visa and I did not bring enough cash. Fortunately, the card worked.
Now it was time to get my tree. I bring the paid receipt to the pickup area and show it to the workers. They run off to find my tree and I step aside. Several trees are brought forward for other customers but mine is not. Another worker asks me if I have been helped yet and asks for my number, they run off into the abyss. I never saw them again. A 3rd worker comes over and asks if they can see my ticket and they run off. I never saw them again. I started to see a pattern.
A shorter lady with a 2-way radio came over and asked me for my ticket number. I recognized her from earlier. It was 3pm and she mentioned to a colleague of hers that she was on the wrong channel of her 2-way radio all day. She must be on her game I thought. Now she oversaw finding the lost tree, lucky me. She asked me 3 times what my number was. I’ll give her this though, unlike the other workers she did come back. She ended up getting some man involved who was bound and determined to give me a tree, any tree. “I have 2 trees without a tag, can I show you them? Could you identify the cut you made on the stump?” This is a comedy of errors. Identify the cut on the trunk of a tree? Now we are getting all CSI at the tree farm. “Sure” I tell him, "I’ll give it a shot." He brings a tree over to me and says "look here, this one is 6 ½ feet, just like the one you cut. The trunk has a knot at the end, do you recognize that?" I can’t help but to chuckle. Recognize a knot on the trunk of a tree? Are you serious right now? “No sir I do not, but sure, I’ll take the tree. I really need to get home to my wife. You see, she has …” just as I was saying that he discovers a tree tag in the tree, thank heavens he shouts. - It’s not mine. Back to the drawing board we go. Frantically looking again. Now we have the 3 disappearing workers, 2-way radio expert lady and the CSI evidence technician all trying to find my tree. 2-way radio expert looks over at me and says, “It’s been crazy like this all day”. Wow, if it has been this crazy all day, they need a new business plan. The CSI evidence technician comes over and says he has a tree that has been there all day and has yet to be claimed, would I like it? He offered me a Douglas fir, but I didn’t want one of those. In hindsight I should have taken one of those. After about an hour of these shenanigans I finally agreed to take the mystery tree home.
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