Yin to my Yang

I've had some rough moments. 

I am really missing Michelle. It hits me and I get emotional. I get lonely and then wonder if it is loneliness or if it is sadness or what it is. 

I just miss my companion. My soulmate. 

I miss hearing BABE, or HI HOUNEY. 

I miss her craziness and her seriousness. I miss seeing her faces. I miss seeing her cry and watching her laugh. I miss her dimples. I loved watching her walk, talk, eat and play. She was fun to be around. She loved being alive. She loved life. I loved watching her take care of the hummingbirds. Fill the birdfeeders. I remember how mad she was when I took the bird nest down on the back patio. I would go out to mow, so she would work in the garden. 

Yin to my yang. 

She was the normal to my crazy. 

Everything I wasn’t. 

She completed me. 

What does that make me now? Half of what I was before? Of course, not. I think it makes me feel plum empty sometimes. Maybe not always anymore. Today though, a lot. Independence Day was special to Michelle. She liked it because it meant family. The last time we had all of the grandkids together with all of the kids was July 4^th, 2022. 108 days before she was diagnosed with stage IV small cell carcinoma. Brain cancer, spinal cancer, liver cancer, lung cancer. This rocked our world and split this family up. Now I am left with nobody, which I am ok with, except … I really miss my glue. I love you honey

Love, Brian