Ebb and Flow

The ebbs and flows continue. Michelle has had good days and bad days this week. I can tell that her cancer is affecting her in ways other than her breathing. It is hard for me to admit it and hard to talk about it to be honest. She started coughing again recently and feels like it is the same cough that started this whole mess back in July of last year. Radiation went well and she has completed her 10-day treatment. Her breathing has improved exponentially. The radiation oncologist said she looks and sounds so much better than she did on day one, which was great news.

Michelle got dizzy a couple of times this week. Twice in one day. This was scary for her. She thinks she may have just stood up too quickly. I can usually just calm her down by talking to her and comforting her. If we just spend a minute or so in each other’s arms, calming down and trying to relax, this works to help regain her strength. She has another MRI on Monday. I will report on those results next week.

Highlight of the week Michelle went to Costco with me this week. It was the first time she has gone shopping since October. She seemed so happy to be there. Michelle traditionally does not like shopping, but I could tell that she really enjoyed this short outing. She was in a motorized shopping cart, and I was trying to guide her way. She had just 2 minor incidents. She knocked a display over and drug a Costco cart 5 feet. The cart was wedged between her electric cart and a shelf.  It was fun and we laughed a lot.

Random Fact of the Week Ebb and flow hydroponics is a form of hydroponics that is known for its simplicity, reliability of operation and low initial investment cost. Pots are filled with an inert medium which does not function like soil or contribute nutrition to the plants, but which anchors the roots and functions as a temporary reserve of water and solvent mineral nutrients. The hydroponic solution alternately floods the system and is allowed to ebb away.

Did you know?  Michelle was a country girl that never rode a bike as a kid, so she wasn't comfortable riding a bike as an adult. 

Throwback Love Story October 19th, 2002. There are just a couple of ground rules. You’d think that after 2 years of dating we would know each other well enough not to cross the line. Today is the big day, the day we say I do. Just a few things though, don’t ask how much the dress cost, no cake in the face, don’t complain and no rides on the motorcycle. The ceremony went flawlessly. We wrote our own vows. We had rings for each of our children and said vows to them too. Brandy got a ring but unfortunately was unable to make it to the wedding. There wasn’t a dry eye in the chapel when Michelle said to Alanmichael at the age of 7:

"The love and kisses you will show me makes me feel all tickly inside.  Guess what?  Now you can call me Mommy, give me kisses and guess what else?  We are finally married sweetie”

If only we could stop right there. Not in Brian’s world, he must push the envelope. After the ceremony it was picture time. Let’s get a picture on the motorcycle I suggest. She agrees, knowing I would never ride away. Well, I did. STRIKE ONE. Later at the reception, which we held in a smoky bar thanks to some friends of ours, it was time to cut the cake. We both grabbed the knife together and sliced the cake holding hands as we sliced through the freshly baked deliciousness. I can still feel the glistening of the frosting as we cut through that first piece. My mouth is watering thinking of my mom’s tender and soft yellow cake, beautifully hand crafted better than any professional could do. Cameras were at the ready as we fed each other the cake. Yes, I did. STRIKE TWO. Big regret. To this day I am not sure why I put cake in her face. I guess I thought it was tradition. Man was I ever dumb. To this day I still look over my shoulder, waiting for that 3rd strike. Will it come. When will I make that dumb mistake?  When will my inner Brian take over? I read this to Michelle, and she got a little irritated with me. It seems even after almost 21 years; she is still sour about these 2 things!

Food For Thought We had some strong storms this week that took our power out. It got me thinking. Storms might bring dark clouds, thunder, and lightning, but they’re also a time for rebirth and growth. My grass continues to grow almost to my knees. The trees are green, and the flowers are blooming bright and beautiful. The bees have had their spring flow and I have harvested close to 10 gallons of honey. So now what about the storms of our life? Thunder and lighting with plenty of dark clouds have been part of our ecosystem since October. We see some days of sunshine here and there, but most are grim, sheltered by umbrellas or windshield wipers. When will we see the virtual flowers and green grass? I’m being selfish, I know, but time is cruel. I love every moment I get yet I starve for more. Gluttony for time with love.

FlowTime TV Michelle watched “Cabinets of Curiosity” (Netflix) An anthology of sinister stories told by revered horror creators.

Michelle also enjoyed watching Survivor and the Chicago trilogy.

EbbTime TV Michelle and I have been enjoying “The Unit” (HULU). follows a covert team of Special Forces operatives as they risk their lives on undercover missions around the globe, while their families maintain the home front. Part of the show's focus is the effect that the group's missions have on the guys' wives and girlfriends.

We watched “Bumblebee” (Paramount +) this week. Great classic. On the run in the year 1987, Bumblebee the Autobot seeks refuge in a junkyard in a small California beach town. Charlie, on the brink of turning 18 years old and trying to find her place in the world, soon discovers the battle-scarred and broken Bumblebee. When Charlie revives him, she quickly learns that this is no ordinary yellow Volkswagen.

We have also been watching “The Cube” (MAX) 15 square feet of steel-edged plexiglass where simple tasks become challenges; teams have nine lives to win seven games to beat The Cube for a chance to walk away with $250,000.

“The Dippy Bird Cafe”

The Menu

Snacks

Cotton Candy

Potato chips

Entrees

Honey Soy Salmon Bowl

Jambalaya

Chalupas

Fried Shrimp

Cheesy Rice Chicken Skillet

BLT (Grandkids were not fans)

Beef Ranch Skillet

Sides

Cauliflower Rice

Sweet corn

Green beans

Calrose Rice

French Fries

Drinks

Lemonade

La Croix (Berry and Razz-Cranberry)

Chalk (Fenbendazole)

Love you,

Brian

http://WhatGoesUpMustComeDown.org

Still as a Millpond

Michelle started her 10-day radiation treatment on Monday. Everyone knows how much she loves getting out of the house every day. The treatment is only taking 10-15 minutes but to her it feels like an hour. She must lay still as a millpond. She wears a weighted vest that restricts her breathing movements while being radiated. Perfectly comfortable for Michelle, right? A meeting with the radiation oncologist reminded us that radiation therapy usually does not have an immediate effect, and it could take days, weeks, or months to see any change in the cancer. We saw this with her brain and spinal radiation. Michelle started taking Prilosec to fend off the side effect of esophagitis, although this too may take two weeks to show up.

Most days were smooth sailing for someone going through radiation. Her breathing is getting better. She seems less steady on her feet. I think this is because she is doing less physical therapy. She has not wanted to strain herself too much, this would cause more breathing issues.

Highlight of the week This week it was fun watching Michelle do some crafting with our granddaughters. Trying to keep a 6-yr-old and a 9-yr-old entertained anywhere from four to six hours a day can be a bit of a challenge. We spent $80 at Walmart trying to fish up some creative crafting ideas. I loved watching Michelle interact with her grandchildren. You can see a garden of love that flows in a grandmother’s heart when she plays and teaches them her craft. The dogs tried helping at one point, that almost didn’t end well. Crisis was diverted.

Random Fact of the Week In many places, the common proper name Mill Pond has remained even though the mill has long since gone. It may be fed by a man-made stream, known by several terms including leat and mill stream. The channel or stream leading from the mill pond is the mill race, which together with weirs, dams, channels, and the terrain establishing the mill pond, delivers water to the mill wheel to convert potential and/or kinetic energy of the water to mechanical energy by rotating the mill wheel. The production of mechanical power is the purpose of this civil engineering hydraulic system.

Did you know? Michelle and I almost broke up because I didn't want commitment.

Throwback Love Story The year was 2012. I remember wanting to find something fun to do in Austin. Michelle and I kept hearing about a fashion show. The event was being held at the up-and-coming Domain, not downtown, so we decided to go. It was a lot of fun. There were almost 60 designers showing their new collections on the runway and in pop-up shops. We saw a very stylish looking outfit showcased on the runway that I thought would look stunning on Michelle. We milled around most of the day and did a lot of window shopping. We spent probably $80 at a high-end café for the 2 of us, way more than I’d spend on lunch any day. After our lunch, we went on the hunt for the runway outfit we saw. Michelle tried on a few runway items, but they were overpriced and were not a good fit for her body type. We searched for about 3 more hours and came up empty on the one item I thought would be perfect for her. Irritated, hot, and tired, we decided to give up and go home. Michelle breathed a sigh of relief. She hates trying on clothes and really hates anything that showcases her. Walking down a dark sidewalk entering a tunnel to the parking garage, there was a picture window to our right and in it was the outfit we were looking for all day! Of course, I had Michelle try it on. She looked so beautiful in it. The $400 price tag, not so much. We would never spend that much money on a piece of clothing. I remember taking some pictures but not buying it. As much as we both wanted it, we couldn’t swallow the $400 over inflated price.

Michelle turned 51 on June 22^nd, 2013. Her present was wrapped waiting for her to open after her shower. I hadn’t made her cry since proposing to her 12 years earlier. I couldn’t believe it, she made an audible, but soft crying sound. She wrapped her arms around me and thanked me. I thought she would be mad at me for spending the money. I’ve never been more wrong. She looked more beautiful than she did that day at the fashion show. I have attached a picture of Michelle wearing this outfit, yesterday!

Flowing Upstream Michelle has enjoyed a new series on Netflix called “Another Life” (Netflix) Astronaut Niko Breckinridge is focused on searching the world for alien intelligence. She leads a crew that is on a mission to explore the genesis of an alien artifact that has been found on Earth.

Michelle is also enjoying the series “Lore” (Prime) Writer Aaron Mahnke launched his podcast "Lore" in 2015 and it has gained critical acclaim in the time since, including earning Best in the country - 2015 honors from iTunes.

Flowing Downstream Michelle and I are enjoying "The Unit" (HULU) it Based on the book Inside Delta Force: The Story of America's Elite Counterterrorist Unit; and follows a covert team of Special Forces operatives as they risk their lives on undercover missions around the globe, while their families maintain the home front. Part of the show's focus is the effect that the group's missions have on the guys' wives and girlfriends.

We are holding "Camp Grampy" this week, so it is not just song and dance night at the Luck house, it also means movie nights! The kids and grandparents are enjoying “Ghostwriter” (Apple TV) is a perfect kid series. When a ghost haunts a neighborhood bookstore and starts releasing fictional characters into the real world, four kids must team up to solve an exciting mystery surrounding the ghost's unfinished business.

“Field and Stream Diner”

The Menu

Snacks

Vanilla Pudding

Pear & Cottage Cheese parfait (I guess cottage cheese is not a well liked thing?)

Hershey’s Dark Chocolate (We've cut back some on this)

Entrees

Hawaiian Chicken

Beef Ranch Skillet

Fried Shrimp

Spaghetti

Frankenstein Stroganoff

Garlic Roasted Chicken

Chicken Stir-Fry

Sides

Frozen Veggie Mix

Cauliflower Rice

Sweet corn

Are you reading this? Probably not.

Green beans

Baked Beans

Jasmine Rice

French Fries

Drinks

Lemonade

La Croix (Berry and Razz-Cranberry)

Chalk

Love you,

Brian 

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mill_pond

Nailing Jelly to a Tree

This week has been as difficult as nailing jelly to a tree. A meeting with the oncologist was a stark reminder of the difference between palliative and curative care and how difficult that is mentally. The right hilar/infrahilar lymph node of Michelle’s lung increased from 1.6 x 2.4 cm February 2nd to 4.4 x 3.6cm a few days ago. The radiation oncologist believes this lymph node is restricting blood flow to the middle branches of the bronchus. She could not hammer down the cause of Michelle’s pain but is certain that the tumor has grown to the point it needs to be radiated. Pneumonitis, an inflammation of the lung, is a side effect of both radiation and immunotherapy. Esophagitis is also a concern.  Esophagitis is simply inflammation of the esophagus. The tumor is jammed up close to the esophagus so the esophagus will get some radiation. Having both radiation and immunotherapy treatments would add too many risks of toxicity.  

Michelle also had an appointment with a social worker this week. This went ok. I’m knot sure he is qualified to counsel Michelle. Everyone has their root education, but it seemed like he was really reaching for answers and just fell short once of saying “let me google that”. This made me simile.  He sent pamphlets on “Challenging Anxious Thoughts”,” Relaxation Techniques” and “Coping Skills – Anxiety” which include deep breathing exercises. Clearly Michelle may have an issue with the breathing exercises, but she is willing to try some of the less taxing techniques. He definitely had references to ascribe her. She will meet with him again in tree weeks.        

Highlight of the week After an emotional start to the week, Michelle wanted to check on mama duck, who has been named “Salina”. She managed to move her nest of twigs and grass about 2 feet. She felt safer, close to a car tire. Still no ducklings. Michelle was able to branch out and say hello to Salina, then walk over and sit in the pole barn for a while. I had some things I needed to take care of, and she waited patiently for me to finish my tasks. She was more than ready to leaf by the time I was done. I can always tell when she is getting tired.

Random Fact of the Week If you turned jelly into a nail and hammered it into a tree 5 feet above the ground, it will stay 5 feet above the ground forever. Even after 20 years it remains static because trees grow inside out, which means that they grow from the top, not the bottom. The bottom of the tree will remain the same.

Did you know? Michelle says “Thank you” when I kiss her.

Throwback Love Story October 20th, 2001, it was Saturday and Michelle was drained emotionally. This stemming from being a single parent and having a rough week at work. Both of her kids had been stressing her out and she was tired from working early mornings and late nights. She headed to Killeen Texas to visit me, hoping her week would end better than it started. When she got to my house in Killeen, there was a picture of the fireplace spiked on the front door. Below the picture it read “Welcome home, I hope you had a safe trip over from Austin, and it wasn’t too HOT. Follow the sign”. Feeling all alone yet riveted, she slowly walked to the fireplace, not knowing what to expect next. Met with another picture, held by a ceramic baseball bear it read: “I love you BEARY much! Follow the picture” In the den, another picture was tacked. A picture of the washer and dryer was partially concealed by 2 decorative dish towels. The towels were decorated with pears and other various fruits. The caption read “We make a great PEAR!” On the washer and dryer was a picture of the mirror in the bedroom. Attached to the picture was a Heart pendant. “You stole my HEART!” it read. Tears filled her eyes as she branched her way to the bedroom. I stayed hidden behind the bed, near the mirror. When she got close enough, I popped up on one knee – ring in hand, “Will you marry me?” I asked. She collapsed like marmalade. Weak and speechless, “Yes”, she whispered.

Michelle knew I was going to propose but I had her convinced it was going to be sometime after Christmas. She later told me she thought I sent her on a scavenger hunt because I knew she was having a hard week, and this was my way of cheering her up. She didn’t catch on to the proposal until she saw me on one knee! SUCCESS. We can’t find the heart pendant but still have towels and a baseball bear.

Jelly Telly Michelle’s Movie of the week was “Geostorm” (MAX). After an unprecedented series of natural disasters threatened the planet, the world's leaders came together to create an intricate network of satellites to control the global climate and keep everyone safe. But now, something has gone wrong: the system built to protect Earth is attacking it, and it becomes a race against the clock to uncover the real threat before a worldwide Geostorm wipes out everything and everyone along with it.

Michelle started a new series called “The Rig” (Prime) A group of workers on a remote Scottish oil rig are due to return to the mainland when a mysterious fog cloaks them and supernatural forces take hold. She continues to enjoy “Sandman” (Netflix). “Lore” (Prime) and “Battlebots” (YouTube TV) are also fun time passers. The Battlebots finale proved fun to watch. We enjoyed the bot - SawBlaze barely scraping by and winning the WCVII and the Giant Nut!

Jelly PM Telly We watched the season finale of “Ted Lasso” (Apple TV). If you haven’t seen the series, get Apple TV somehow and watch it. It’s worth the money. We also caught the finale of “Citadel” (Prime). I love a series that ends in a twist. “Joe Pickett” (Paramount +) is back with season 2. We have watched the first 2 episodes of season 2 already, so this will be a weekly watch party show. Game warden Joe Pickett and his family navigate the shifting sociopolitical climate of a rural town on the verge of economic collapse; when a murder victim winds up on Joe's doorstep, the Pickett’s find themselves embroiled in a larger conspiracy.

We somehow sat through half of Prince’s 1984 film “Purple Rain” (Prime). Horrible acting but great music. It was cool seeing hometown sites.

We saw the Denver Nuggets axe through game 4 and continue to watch the 4th quarter of each playoff game. (YouTube TV)

Bedtime shows are “Whose Line is it Anyway” and “Family Feud” (Both on YouTube TV). 

“Crown and Trunk Tavern”

The Menu

Snacks

Vanilla Pudding

Pear & Cottage Cheese parfait

Hershey’s Dark Chocolate

Entrees

Denver Nugget Sliders

Sous Vide Chicken Breast

Honey Garlic Cornish Cross (Recipe attached)

Sloppy Joes

Chalupas

Bratwurst

Popeye’s Classic Chicken Sandwich

Sides

Mezcla Frozen Veggie Mix

Cauliflower Rice

Peas

Jasmine Rice

French Fries

Deserts

Chocolate chip cookies – TX Special

Dark Chocolate

Vanilla Pudding

Drinks

Lemonade

La Croix (Berry and Razz-Cranberry)

Chalk

Coffee

Water

www.TheRottenSrpig.edu

Life is a Highway

Life is a Highway. Life is like a road that you travel on, when there's one day here, and the next day gone. Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand, sometimes you turn your back to the wind. This week’s highway passed through hills and many valleys in 7 short days. The week started on some hills. The road was winding and had some new potholes. Physical therapy was more tiring than usual. Michelle seemed to have a harder time recovering. One thing I’ve learned from this journey is when Michelle’s body is telling you something – Listen. We canceled the second therapy session for the week. Things started to go downhill from there.

Michelle came into the living room one morning before 7am, in excruciating pain. She was having a hard time taking a deep breath. Without hesitation, I took her to the Emergency Room. Taking the Toll Road, we made it to the hospital before 8. I assumed the path to see an ER Doctor would be fast, my assumptions were never so wrong. Michelle had an EKG, blood tests and an X-Ray. The ER doctor saw her around 11am and told her that it looked like pneumonia. She did not present with pneumonia; the doctor ordered a CT scan. This is where they tracked down the culprit. It appears that the cancer in the right lower lobe nodule of her lung has spread. This has caused breathing issues. They gave her antibiotics while she was there, then gave her a 7-day prescription. Oncology was consulted and they agreed that it would be more comfortable to be home than admitted to the hospital. Radiology Oncology will call early next week to arrange for treatment on the mass in the lung. Not the drive through the valley we wanted in our week for sure. At least we are in the comfort of our home instead of in the hospital over the weekend. 

Imagine a sharp stabbing pain in your lungs with every deep breath you take. Her subtle grunts of pain every 10-15 minutes leave me feeling helpless. Our hope rides on radiation once again. We shall see what next week brings. So much for never feeling pain.

Highlight of the week We walked down Sparks Road together to check on a mama duck who is sitting on her eggs. We are hoping to get ducklings to spotlight Luck ranch soon. Michelle rested for about 20 minutes then we headed back up the boulevard to the house.  Michelle is so excited about the idea of ducklings on the ranch. About 28 days after beginning incubation the eggs hatch together. This takes about 24 hours. The ducklings stay in the nest for at least 10 hours while they dry and get used to using their legs. She can have as many as 20 ducklings. The interesting part of this is she only laid one egg per day, but all her ducklings hatch together. They may hatch this week.

Random Fact of the Week Our traffic lights were adapted from the railroads. While the red, green, and yellow lights on our roads are universal the world over, they weren't originally created for cars. The idea of signal lights was first used on railroads to prevent train collisions. The idea worked well enough that, once the technology was perfected, the signals were adopted all over the world. The original pattern was red for danger, green for caution, and white to go. However, since white could have been easily missed against a starry sky, green became go, and yellow was put in as the caution light.

Throwback Love Story This throwback Love Story is from 2010, when I surprised Michelle with a trip to Panama City Florida. 134 million gallons of oil spilled into the Gulf of Mexico in April of 2010, so by July many tourist towns like Panama City Florida were losing money faster than the Deepwater Horizon lost oil. I decided to capitalize on the opportunity and book flights, hotel and entertainment for 4 days in Panama City Florida. Saving close to 70% on the trip, I thought we would live like royalty. I bought everything for the October trip in July and decided not to tell Michelle. Small hints would do. Each week leading up to the trip I would give her a futile clue or 2. I was working in Dallas at the time and remember leaving on the Monday prior to our trip, telling her I would see her on Thursday, reminding her to get off her night shift early. I gave her nothing more. Wednesday night we talked. She asked where I was and if I was picking her up? Could she drive her car? Did she need a suitcase, or could she just pack her clothes in the car? What to pack? Did she need a passport? I told her no need for a passport, pack like you would if you were staying in Texas. I told her that she could drive but I’d advised her to pack a suitcase. The next morning, she was irritated when I called, “Where the hell are you?” she asked. I said, “We will be together soon. Go to the airport and scan your credit card at the Southwest kiosk. A ticket will be printed for you with all your information”. She called me from the plane and said, “I freaked out when I saw Panama City because you said no passport was needed, then I realized it was Florida – womp womp” “Where will I meet you?” I just replied with “I have that taken care of, I’ll see you soon” Only Michelle would put up with this, right? (How many of you thought of that 5 sentences ago?) Michelle had a layover and a plane change in Houston. I too had a layover from Dallas to Houston but no plane change. Michelle walked in to find a seat on the Southwest flight from Houston to Panama City Florida. She saw me in the front row with open arms. “I love you Michelle Luck! Happy Anniversary” Those around us started to cheer. It was a fun and exciting memory. We had a seaside view hotel room, right on the beach, Michelle’s happy place. Many more stories from this trip, for another time.

Turnpike Daytime TV Michelle enjoyed watching several movies this week. One hit was “The Taking of Pelham 123’ (Netflix) Chaos reigns in the New York City subway system when heavily armed criminals, led by a mastermind named Ryder (John Travolta), hijack a subway train and threaten to kill everyone on board unless a large ransom is paid. Dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) uses his extensive knowledge of the transit system in a bid to outwit the hijackers and save the hostages, but one question remains: even if the hijackers get their money, how can they possibly escape?

Another fun watch was “Security” (Netflix) A former elite soldier now works as an employee of a security service in a shopping center. During his job he gets caught between two fronts and must protect a female witness from a gang during a storm.

She started watching the comic book series “Sandman” (Netflix) When the Sandman, aka Dream, the cosmic being who controls all dreams, is captured and held prisoner for more than a century, he must journey across different worlds and timelines to fix the chaos his absence has caused.

Primetime Turnpike TV We have not watched the “Ted Lasso” (Apple TV) season finale yet but plan to soon. We did, however, finish the season of “Yellow Jackets” (Showtime). We continue to enjoy “FUBAR” (Netflix).

The new series of the week was “Citadel” (Prime) The global spy agency Citadel has fallen, and the memory of its agents has been erased. Now, the powerful Manticore crime syndicate is filling the power vacuum. Citadel agents must remember their past and find the strength to fight back.

The second new series is Neil Patrick Harris’ comedy “Uncoupled” (Apple TV) A man has had his life turned upside down after his partner walks out on him after 17 years.

“Interstate Tavern”

The Menu

Snacks

Vanilla Pudding

Pear & Cottage Cheese parfait

Popcorn

Potato chips

Entrees

Wings-4-Lucks

Grilled seasoned chicken with pasta and vegetables in a three-cheese sauce

Homemade Pizza with garden fresh tomato sauce and homemade dough

Honey Turmeric Chicken

Smoked Sausage Jambalaya

Fried Shrimp

Ranch Beef Skillet Supper

Vanilla Pudding

Sides

Egg Noodles

Crinkle Fries

French Style Beans

Cauliflower Rice

Ranch Style Beans

Stir Fry Mix Veggies

Vanilla Pudding

Deserts

Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip Cookies

Dark Chocolate

Vanilla Pudding

Italian Ices

Drinks

Lemonade

Vanilla Pudding (LoL)

More Chalk

La Croix (Berry and Razz-Cranberry)

http://LuckDragStrip.org