Happy New Year

Happy new year everyone

With a stressful Christmas and a lot going on with me mentally, I will not be sending these anymore updates. 

If you want an update, please feel free to call, text or email me. 

Chele had IT Therapy this week on Wednesday and she still has not fully recovered from it. She had a 2 hour IV antibiotic infusion because the infection still lingers. Her memory is fading fast. I asked her what her name was and she said "your wife". No fever or pain, just exhaustion and she is just out of it a lot.

Have a great 2024.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all this humble note reaches. Michelle and I wish you the very merriest of Christmases. We hope your holiday season has been joyous. 

Michelle had another busy week. We received a call from the oncologist stating they wanted to deliver IV antibiotics to combat the infection in the Ommaya Reservoir. If this does not go away, we will have it removed. We could have it replaced but we will choose not to do this. This 2-time IV antibiotic treatment was 2 hours long each sitting. Michelle stayed entertained by movies on her laptop. 

Because of the infection, there was no IT treatment this week. Day 2 of the antibiotics we had a virtual meeting with the neurologist. I remember how the doctor does not like her patients being late, so I switched our appointment to virtual to ensure prompt attendance. She discussed removal of the Ommaya Reservoir, the infection, future treatments and hospice. We will have more MRIs done of the brain and lumbar in February and meet again before making any decisions regarding hospice. 

Random Fact of the Week Scientists calculated that for Father Christmas to deliver all gifts to people around the world, on Christmas Eve, he would have to visit 822 homes a second, traveling at 650 miles a second! That would be some speedy work. Traditionally, children leave cookies and milk for Santa, and a carrot for the reindeer.

Did you know? Michelle has always the kind who loves Christmas. It’s been a time for her to give and relax. This Christmas will be no exception. 

Throwback Love Story Courting Part III Christmas 2000, Chele and I were 6 months into a dating experience like I had never seen. Imagine landing a smart, self sufficient confident woman. I still lived over 50 miles from Austin, which was quite a commute to come see Chele. She got a phone call one day stating her dad wasn’t doing well. She packed Stephan up and went to Colorado. While she was there, she saw her dad in the hospital before he died. She told him that she met a someone in Austin. He told her “Don’t mess this one up”. Knowing Chele for the past 25 years, I highly doubt she was the one who messed anything up in past relationships, so I am sure he was having this talk through her, to me. 

Long phone conversations talking about everything and going through hard times can bring 2 people close. We saw it back in 2000 and we are seeing it now. Chele Left Colorado early to come back to Texas to spend Christmas with the Lucks. Her dishwasher had broken, so I bought her a new one and installed it for her as a surprise. I remember hearing rumors that my mom was saying “it must be serious, he bought her a dishwasher, who does that after 6 months of dating”. I guess I never thought of it from that perspective before.

Deep Thoughts With big life decisions, heartbreaks, tragedies, and even just bad days when nothing seems to go right, it's easy to get down on your outlook on life, add cancer. It's hard to stay positive. This week my focus has been to keep the negative thoughts at bay. Why is negativity so easy to harbor? Sometimes you need to remind yourselves how special you are. You are special and thank you! Yes, I'm talking to you.

Rudolph Daytime “Wipeout” (TBD) “Great British Bake Off” (Netflix), “Chopped” (YouTube TV), “Whose Line Is It Anyway” Broncos and Vikings Football, “The Voice”, “Law and Order: Criminal Intent”

Santa Primetime “Poker Face” (Peacock) (★★★) A mystery-of-the-week series following Charlie Cale, who has an extraordinary ability to determine when someone is lying. She hits the road in her Plymouth Barracuda and with every stop encounters a new cast of characters and strange crimes she can't help but solve. Guest stars are plentiful throughout, from Ellen Barkin and Adrien Brody to Luis Guzmán and Chloë Sevigny. An inverted detective series, also known as a "howcatchem" and popularized by "Columbo," the crime and perpetrator are shown at the beginning of each episode and follows Charlie as she tries to solve others mystery.

“Virgin River” (Netflix) (★★★★) Seeking a fresh start, a nurse practitioner moves from Los Angeles to a remote Northern California town and is surprised by what, and who, she finds.

"Lawmen: Bass Reeves" (Paramount +) (★★★), “Opry Country Christmas”

“Christmas Tree Diner”

The Menu

Tinsel

THC Gummies

Dark Chocolate

Pears

Ornaments

Chicken with Mushroom (★★★)

Chicken Penne in a White Cheddar Sauce (★★★★)

Sweet and Sour Chicken (★★★)

Chicken Spaghetti

Grilled Chicken Thighs

Cheesy Chicken and Pasta

BBQ Pork Sliders (★★)

Lights

Broiled Asparagus

Green Beans

Carrots

Broccoli

Angel Tree Topper

Crème Bismarck

Sour Patch Kids

Mint Ice Cream

Vanilla Ice Cream

Love you,

Brian

www.MerryChristmasToAll.com

Keeping her Nose to the Grindstone

Michelle continues to keep her nose to the grindstone. Her infection has gotten better but it has not subsided yet. IT treatment went well this week. She had some nausea and vomiting the day after treatment, but I was able to control this with steroids.

I’ve had a lot of people ask me what a PET scan was this week. A positron emission tomography (PET) scan is a type of imaging test. It uses a radioactive substance to look for disease in the body. In general, PET scans may be used to evaluate organs and/or tissues for the presence of disease or other conditions. PET may also be used to evaluate the function of organs, such as the heart or brain. The most common use of PET is in the detection of cancer and the evaluation of cancer treatment.

The PET scan results came back, and they were a lot better than I expected them to be. The oncologist was excited to report that all the tumors in the lungs, liver and lymph nodes had reduced in size, some more than others. Michelle is scheduled for chemotherapy again starting right after Christmas. IT therapy will continue weekly.

Next week we will meet with the neurologist to discuss the tumor changes to the brain and spine. Hopefully we will see molting results here too.

Highlight of the week Chele helped me crochet this week. It was only a cord. I needed to make a name for a stocking. I was being a little chicken to get it started but loved it once I did. It was cute watching her try to help me with the cord. I can tell it is frustrating for her to think she used to be able to do this mindlessly and now she can’t even do it. Watching her try and having her teach me was priceless.

Random Fact of the Week From the 1830s until the 1910s, Grindstone City Michigan produced the premier grinding wheels in the United States. In 1888, the Cleveland Stone Co. purchased the property owned by Worthington and Sons and became the sole owner of all quarry properties. They continued to operate the store and quarries, but the salt works were discontinued, as a means operating costs made it no longer profitable.

For a significant part of the late 1800s, grindstone quarries dotted the shores of Lake Huron from Port Austin to Harbor Beach. The most notable competitor to Grindstone City was in nearby Lake Township. Here the Babbitt Sandstone Company found the stone was harder and had color. Thus, they switched to making gravestones. The Wallace quarry near Bay Port was the other. These stones were used to sharpen tools and knives, and axes. Farm tools such as plows needed sharpening, as did scythes that cut wheat or rye.

Did you know? Michelle hasn’t always had a green thumb. When we met, she had a hard time keeping plants alive. As time went on and we moved to a place with more space, she spent more time and had more patience. Now she loves it. She keeps houseplants alive and always has a garden full of fresh produce in the spring.

Throwback Love Story Courting Part II In 1999, I lived 56 miles from work and usually drove my motorcycle to save gas money. Apparently wearing chaps isn’t a common sight in Austin, but it is a needed apparel when the weather is cold and rainy. I didn’t care that people were staring at me when I came in after a long ride. I even caught Chele smirking a time or two, function over fashion was my motto at the time.

I shared the largest cubicle with a good friend and colleague of mine, Christine. She too was strong willed and very smart. I definitely knew how to surround myself with smart ones to make myself look successful. Christine and I got into a pickle of a problem and needed some serious high caliber help. We went to upper management, and they suggested we summon the help of Spence. “Spence?” I screamed. “Not Spence. She has a crush on me”. Christine gave me a devilish smile and said, “nah, it’ll be fine”. I knew better, but there was no other choice, we needed the help.

It was late in the day and Chele had already gone home. We used instant messaging (IM) to contact her for help. Christine was asking the questions on my computer on IM then verbally telling me what to type into the computer screen on the other side of the cube. After a few hours we finally were able to get our environment stable and everything working that needed to be working. Just as Christine was about to close out the chat, Michelle types in IMs “you owe me”. Christine lets out a chuckle and says, “Hey Brian, Michelle says you owe her”. I scoffed and said, “Yea right, I guess sex is out of the question.” Well, I was kidding of course but Christine didn’t think so, she started to type this into IMs. Seeing this, I freak out. I jumped up and grabbed her hands and stopped her immediately.  I tried to explain AGAIN to Christine that she should know Spence has a crush on me and that I did not want anything to do with entertaining that crush. I begged her to stop and to not encourage this futile behavior. Christine backspaces out of the rude comment and promises not to type it. I waited for Christine to change screens before I stepped away to the other computer. Just as I walked away, I heard her typing again. Dag gum it, I thought. I should have locked my computer. She is typing as if she is me and Chele has no idea that Christine is the one using my IMs, Chele thinks I am typing the response. I once again race back to my computer but not before she sends the response of “I guess special favors are out of the question?” OMG Christine, seriously, what the heck were you thinking? No sooner did I get these words out did a new bubble show up and the words popped up saying “Dinner and a movie?” “See what you did now?” I said, “Now I must go on a date with her.” “You could cancel”, Christine said. That would be rude, was my reply. It was a movie followed by dinner at a karaoke bar. We had a good time. We don’t remember the name of the movie and neither of us sang. There was only going to be one date, right? Oh, and the chaps, apparently the leather looked good, it matched the bad boy look a lot of women are attracted to. Who'd thunk it. Function over fashion became fashion.

Deep Thoughts Love language came to my mind this week. When catastrophic events occur, they jolt us into a sobering awakened state and awaken our true connection to the language of love.  A state of being focused on what is important, what really matters. This week my focus has been to show Michelle my love in every way possible. Michelle hasn’t put makeup on for years yet somehow, she wakes up with makeup on. I tell her this every morning to let her know how beautiful she looks.

Sharpening Daytime “MasterChef” (Tubi), “Wipeout” (TBD) “Great British Bake Off” (Netflix), “Chopped” (YouTube TV), Football

Hard work Primetime "Lawmen: Bass Reeves" (Paramount +) (★★★) From executive producers Taylor Sheridan and David Oyelowo, the untold story of the first Black U.S. Marshal, Bass Reeves.

“Ghosted” (Apple TV) (★★★) Cole falls head over heels for enigmatic Sadie, but then makes the shocking discovery that she's a secret agent. Before they can decide on a second date, Cole and Sadie are swept away on an international adventure to save the world.

“The Grinch” (Freeform) In this live-action adaptation of the beloved children's tale by Dr. Seuss, the reclusive green Grinch (Jim Carrey) decides to ruin Christmas for the cheery citizens of Whoville. Reluctantly joined by his hapless dog, Max, the Grinch comes down from his mountaintop home and sneaks into town to swipe everything holiday-related from the WHO’s. However, the bitter grump finds a hitch in his plans when he encounters the endearing Cindy Lou Who eating eggs.

“Sandstone Saloon”

The Menu

Grit

THC Gummies

Peach ring candies

Pears

Grind

Baked Salmon (★★★)

shrimp (★★★★)

Fried Tilapia

Onion Chicken (★★★★)

Garlic Chicken Voila

Pork Roast (★)

Sirloin Steak (★)

Stone

Cauliflower Rice

Sweet Corn

Broiled Asparagus

Ranch Style Beans

Pebbles

Crème Bismarck

Sour Patch Kids

Mint Cookies

Love you,

Brian

www.ScrapedNoseFmGrindstoneOuch.edu

Short on Bandwidth

Chele was short on bandwidth this week, mentally and physically. She started the week with a spinal tap to test her fluid for infection. Chele was confused as to why she did not have a normal appointment and they only extracted fluid and no chemo was put in. Saline was put in to replace the spinal fluids that were removed.

Mid-week Chele was supposed to have IT treatment. At the last minute this was canceled. We were told something grew on the culture after a retest earlier in the morning. They did not feel safe continuing with IT treatment for the week. The antibiotics were changed to stronger more effective antibiotics, hoping to combat the infection. There was confusion again for Michelle because this was not a normal appointment.

The week ended with a PET scan. Yes, insurance finally approved the PET scan after 2 rejections. The results will come mid-week next week and will be followed by a hopeful IT treatment. We see improvement with IT, or maybe it’s less digression so we would like to continue with these treatments. Hopefully the infection goes away.

Random Fact of the Week Though often used interchangeably and closely related, in fact bandwidth and speed are not the same thing. Speed tells you about the rate at which data can be transmitted, whilst bandwidth indicates how much data your connection can transmit at that rate. Why do we refer to our internet speeds as "bandwidth" with units of measurement like "10 Mbps"? Bandwidth is, as the name implies, the width of the frequency band, typically measured in Hertz. So, if you had a signal with a spectrum from 2MHz to 10MHz, your bandwidth would be 8MHz.

Did you know? Michelle would bottle feed baby calves after her dad took the mama cow away to fatten up for the market. She loved doing it and at the time did not understand why the calves needed bottle feeding. Her dad spared her of this.

Throwback Love Story Courting Part I I met Michelle at MCI. MCI was a phone company many years ago that was later bought by Verizon Business. I started working for MCI after I left the Army in October 1998. She was the smart yet shy redhead that would frequently visit the command center located right next to my cubicle. I eventually picked up on the fact that she had a crush on me, but she had way too many "flaws" for me. She was too smart for starters. She was older than I was. Her chest was quite large and for some reason, this really intimidated me. The months went on and my job changed but Chele’s didn’t. My cubicle changed and it was right across from hers. Knowing she had a crush on me, I thought I would combat this by irritating her, maybe I could change the crush. I learned she hated the smell of burnt popcorn. I would buy microwave popcorn and burn it on purpose (I like a slight char on it anyway). I would wait to open the bag until I got back to my desk to ensure all the fumes engulfed both of our cubicles. Being a single parent of 2 young boys, I watched a lot of Johnny Bravo and quickly became his #1 fan. I had Johnny Bravo nick-nacks littered on my desk. I had one that talked, it said “Hey, foxy mama, you smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me? Hoohah!” and “Enough about you, let's talk about me”. It drove her nuts, but it didn’t drive her away. Some days it even made her smile.

One day I needed some computer coding done in my test environment. Michelle worked strictly in the MCI production environment and did not mess with testing, that was left to those with lower seniority and let me be honest, she was on a different level. I went to Chele and asked for assistance with the coding. She quietly asked me where my popcorn was now and if there was a way Johnny Bravo could ask her? “Whoa mama” I said in my best Johnny Bravo voice. She made me sit in her cubicle and wait for what seemed like an hour, while she "finished up" some things. (It was probably 5 minutes realistically) Humbled, I waited and was grateful when she finally was able to assist me. She grabbed a handwritten note from the back of her desk, typed in the needed code from the handwritten note and put the paper back where it was. She looked at me and said it was done. I thanked her and scuffled out of her cube. I patiently waited for her to leave her desk for a restroom break, I let loose a quiet shriek of anxiety as I made my way to her cubicle. Finding the handwritten note, I grabbed it and headed straight to the copy machine. I made a copy, replaced the note and went back to my desk. I later wrote a script using her notes. (without her knowing of course) When I showed her, she was furious. She warned me to never use this in production. I could not believe that she still had a crush on me. How did I know? More on this next week.

Deep Thoughts I read that we have limitless bandwidth made up of energy. Our bandwidth is decreased by thoughts and feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety and fear. How we choose to control these energies or frequencies defines us. Not by just one day but a full body of work. Our deep thoughts (LoL) and energies affect everyone and everything around us, whether we are aware of it or not.

Computing Daytime “MasterChef” (Tubi), “Wipeout” (TBD) “Great British Bake Off” (Netflix), “Chopped” (YouTube TV), Football

Signal Primetime “Gen V - From the World of The Boys” (Prime). (★★★) The lives of hormonal, competitive Superheroes as they put their physical, sexual, and moral boundaries to the test. We both loved it. She and I liked the Boys on Prime, so this was an easy sell.

“Hulk” (Disney +) Eric Bana ("Black Hawk Down") stars as scientist Bruce Banner, whose inner demons transform him in the aftermath of a catastrophic experiment; Jennifer Connelly is Betty Ross, whose scientific genius unwittingly helps unleash the Hulk; Nick Nolte plays Banner's brilliant father, who passes on a tragic legacy to his son; and Sam Elliott portrays the commander of a top-secret military research center.

“Slow Horses” (Apple TV) Following a dysfunctional team of MI5 agents and their obnoxious boss, the notorious Jackson Lamb is back as they navigate the espionage world's smoke and mirrors to defend England from sinister forces.

“Analog Alley”

The Menu

Bits

THC Gummies

Peach ring candies

Pears

Frequency

Panko Crusted Shrimp

Shoyu Ramen with Chicken

Baked Cod

BBQ Sous Vide Chicken

Pork Chops 

Tortilla Crusted Tilapia

Brats

Radio

Green Beans

Corn

Asparagus

Mashed Potatoes

Transfer

Mehgan's Chocolate Chip Cookies

 

Love you,

Brian

www.ThinkPositiveBoostURBandwidth.org

One Tough Cookie

Michelle has been one tough cookie this week. She did not walk a lot this week, so I am thankful for the blood thinner, Eliquis. We’ve gotten into a routine now so getting into and out of bed, up and down from the couch and on and off the commode are simpler. She uses her upper body strength and I guide her legs and feet to where they need to be.

Insurance declined the PET scan, so it was rescheduled again. We will try next week.

There was an infection detected in her spinal fluid collected from IT therapy this week. She was put on horse pill antibiotics twice daily for 10 days. They will recheck the spinal fluid to make sure another IT treatment is safe. She has not seen the rain of side effects caused from the previous treatments. The infection could be from the spinal fluid, or the equipment used may have been contaminated somehow. We should know more by IT treatment time next week. She continues to stay positive and smile. She is one tough cookie. 

Highlight of the week Peppermint flavored milkshake are back at Chick-fil-A. Chele and I both love the hand-spun old-fashioned way they make this festive milkshake. We stopped after IT treatment this week. Chele's favorite are the chips of peppermint bark mixed in the shake and of course the whipped cream and cherry on top.

Random Fact of the Week The record for the most cookies baked in one hour is held by Hassett’s Bakery of Cork Island. They baked 4,695 cookies in one hour. My mom came close one year when I visited. She made 469.5 cookies in her kitchen for Loaves and Fishes. The record for the biggest cookie is held by Immaculate Baking Company of Flat Rock, NC. In 2003, they baked the record-setting cookie, which measured 102 feet wide and weighed over 40,000 pounds. The record for the tallest tower of cookies was cast by the Girl Scouts of Nassau County. In 2010, they constructed a tower of cookies at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, NY. The tower measured 6 feet and ⅛-inch tall using 22,800 cookies to build the tower.  

Did you know? Michelle made a Knick knack for each of her kids every year for Christmas. Each year here at the Luck house was a challenge for her to come up with new ideas, but she always came through. Sometimes she would start as early as July on her ideas.

Throwback Love Story I was working in Dallas in summer of 2012. I would commute on Monday morning and drive back to Austin on Thursday evenings. Chele and I were on a fitness kick, going to the gym 4 times a week. I went to the gym after work one night. I left my car, and I was headed into the gym when I was greeted by a black lab puppy. He was an abandoned dog; I could tell by the fleas and ticks littered on his body. Knowing that there was no way to keep a dog in my hotel I left him outside while I went in and had a 45-minute workout. When I was done, I came out and the puppy was still hanging out around the gym. It was after 7pm, I called Michelle to get her thoughts on the situation, she said “no” (I think she answered the phone saying no). I told her about the condition of the fleas and ticks. I told her I thought it was best if I just kept him over night then brought him to a shelter the next day, it just wasn’t safe for him to be out all alone. She agreed. I snuck him into the hotel that night and treated his fleas and tick problem, I gave him a bath and got him all nice and fresh. I had to work the next day, so I put a “Do not Disturb” sign up and left. I got a call from hotel management later in the day complaining about “my dog” in the room. I had called a few dog shelters that were full and even called the dog pound. Nobody wanted to take the dog, now that I had him all nice and cleaned up. I checked out of my hotel room and got a more pet friendly hotel and let Chele know the news. She was not happy. I suggested we find a good home for him, and the search was on. 

That weekend I introduced “Harley” to Michelle. We had not named him yet, but I knew he was going to stay with us. I told Michelle that while I was gone for the week, maybe she could find a loving home for him to stay at. Some time throughout that weekend, while I was playing with him, I looked at her and I said, “He makes me so happy”. Her face was priceless, you could see the air being let out of the balloon. She quietly and softly said, “how and I supposed to get rid of him now?”

The bond they had was unbreakable. A dog is man’s best friend. Michelle loved that dog more than me on most days. He got ornery as the years went on, it was probably his cancer that did it to him, but he never stopped loving her, and she never stopped loving him. She actually had professional photos done with him. 

Deep Thoughts There’s always some truth behind “just kidding”, knowledge behind every “I don’t know”, emotions behind “I don’t care” and pain behind “it’s okay”.

Oatmeal Raisin Daytime “Great British Bake Off” (Netflix), “Million Pound Menu” (Netflix), “Chopped” (YouTube TV), Football 

Cookie Monster Primetime “Lessons in Chemistry” (Apple TV) (★★★★) One of the episodes made Chele cry. I had to pause the TV to comfort her. – In the 1950s, your reality was different. Elizabeth Zott's dream of being a scientist is challenged by a society that says women belong in the domestic sphere; she accepts a job on a TV cooking show and sets out to teach a nation of housewives way more than recipes.

“The Righteous Gemstones” (MAX). (★) I liked it, Chele was “not a fan”.

 “Doctor Strange” (Disney+), “Iron Man” (Disney +), “The Weather?”

“Cookie Classics”

The Menu

Chips

THC Gummies

Peach ring candies

Pears

The Dough

Pork Chops (★★★★)

Sous Vide Chicken Breast (★★★)  

Protein Shake

Chalupas (★)

Cajun Chicken Carbonara

Sausage Ravioli

Grilled Salmon

Fixins

Asparagus

Mashed Potatoes 

Rice

Carrots

Love you,

Brian

www.ThrowDirt-LoseGround.org

A Glass Half Full

 Is your glass half full or half empty? Chele’s glass is refillable, so she isn’t too concerned about those semantics. There was no IT chemotherapy this week so there was no nausea or illness. She still had good days and bad days. Good days consisted of her pushing her wheelchair to the bathroom or kitchen table. On bad days she slept a lot and did not say too much. I can tell the tumors in her brain are taking their toll.

We are back from our holiday to a normal week next week with IT chemo and a PET scan. Insurance has not approved the PET scan yet, but the date was changed to align better with the 90 day recheck scan. We are supposed to meet with the oncologist too, but this will be futile without PET scan results, so I may reschedule this appointment.

Highlight of the week Chele made Lego daisies this week. With some help from her friend, she finished 2 really cool looking daisies. She later told me it was “surprisingly therapeutic”.

Random Fact of the Week We’ve all gotten used to driving in cars with windshields that are made of shatter-proof laminated glass, but it hasn’t always been this way. The first windshields were made from regular glass that’s used for standard windows. Of course, the main problem with this was how easily the glass would shatter during an accident, which became a major safety hazard.

Even Henry Ford himself was injured by flying glass shards because of this. That was until he decided that something needed to be done to lower the cost of the glass and make it safer. He went shopping for results. One of Ford’s employees, along with a British glass manufacturer, produced a new process that made our windshield glass safer, stronger, and more cost effective. 

Did you know? Michelle took her stab at becoming a stained-glass glazier. She was good at it and enjoyed the challenge of the craft. Working with lead and colored glass became another talent of hers.

Throwback Love Story “THE PROTECTOR PART III” Knowing that Titan was not a pasture dog, and the coyotes were a threat, it was time to research and buy a donkey. After researching we found that getting a female was definitely the way to go. The males were more aggressive and harder to train. We wanted something that we could pet and interact with, as well as protect the sheep. We also read that getting them young was important. Older donkeys are set in their ways, so getting a younger donkey that could grow up around our sheep was the route we wanted to take. We found one on Facebook Marketplace that seemed perfect. Female, young and good looking. We brought her home, named her Daisy and introduced her to the ranch. Daisy was timid at first but that was to be expected. She hung out with the cows too much. We encouraged her to hang out with the sheep by shutting off the pastures keeping the cows in one area and her with the sheep in the other. Daisy finally got the idea.

As the weeks went on, I opened the pastures and let the sheep and the cows commingle. Chele and I would watch from the house as Daisy would play with her flock. It was fun watching them run and chase each other. One day Chele and I were walking through the pasture after doing chores. We walked past Daisy and the sheep grazing in the east pasture. I looked over and greeted her with a friendly “Hello Daisy”. Michelle looked at me and smiled surprisingly and said “Honey, I think Daisy is a Duke!” Sure as I could see through glass, those were boy parts, not girl parts. The fun playing that we were watching from the house turned into aggressive sheep tossing. The smart thing would be to get rid of the donkey, but I was ready to be done with the sheep. The Sheep/Lamb experiment was over. I sold the sheep and kept Duke. He started getting aggressive towards the younger calves. It was now time to get rid of the donkey as well. I called some friends of ours who ran a rescue ranch nearby and they said Duke would fit right in. We now have cows, chickens, ducks and a pig. Enough for these 2 ranchers to handle.

Deep Thoughts Michelle took a class on stained glass a few years ago and she got pretty good at it. I often look at a piece she made hanging in the kitchen window. It sparkles and shines every day. One night I was on my computer at the kitchen table. All the lights were out. I looked up and did not see the piece of stained glass and wondered, where is it? It disappeared in the darkness. I turned the kitchen light on so I could see it and realized the true beauty of stained glass is revealed when there is light from within. Michelle is my example of stained glass.

Dual Pane Daytime “Beat Bobby Flay”, “MasterChef”, “Worst Cooks in America”, Football 

Looking Glass Primetime “Captain America: The First Avenger" (Disney +),

“Maniac” (Netflix) (★★) Annie Landsberg and Owen Milgrim are two strangers who are drawn to the late stages of a mysterious pharmaceutical trial. Each has a different reason for participating in the experiment -- she is disaffected and aimless, fixated on broken relationships with her mother and sister, while he has struggled throughout his life with a disputed diagnosis of schizophrenia. The radical treatment, using pills that the inventor claims can repair anything about the mind, draws Annie, Owen and 10 other subjects into a three-day drug trial that they're told will permanently solve all their problems, with no complications or side effects. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned.

“Bye Bye Barry” (Prime) A definitive first-hand account of the life of Barry Sanders, former American football running back.

“The Morning Show” (Apple TV).

“Captain Marvel” (Disney +)

“Blown Glass”

The Menu

See Through Starters

THC Gummies

Pineapples

Pears

French Door

Meatloaf (★) I tried it with pork. I liked it, Chele was not a fan

Honey Glazed Chicken (★★★)  

Garlic Chicken Skillet

Tortilla Crusted Tilapia

Turkey

Panko Fried Shrimp

Chili Mac

Shards

Peas

Mashed Potatoes

Rice

Tater Tots

Carrots

Waterfords

Banana Pudding

Ice Cream

 

Love you,

Brian

www.DontDanceOnBrokenGlass.org

Essence of the Tubeman

Many who hear of the almighty power of the wacky waving inflatable-arm flailing Tubeman laugh, as if it were a joke. On some days, getting Chele in and out of the car or maybe back into bed after using the toilet at 4:30am, I smile at the image of Tubeman. Sometimes I laugh out loud! We have good days and bad days here at the Luck house. Good days consist of Chele standing with little assistance, walking with an arm or hand from the couch to the kitchen table for dinner. Bad days we use the wheelchair for everything. I support her back to help her stand and use my knees to keep my back healthy. My tennis elbow is acting up, luckily that is my only complaint.  

Chele continued her IT treatment this week. We had an MRI last week that was not readable because we skipped the contrast. Insurance denied the PET scan. We are hoping for approval with a resubmission 6 months apart from the last PET. This continues our palliative path until the PET or MRIs show us chemo is or is not working. Whenever the situation fits, we will move from palliative care to hospice. Insurance will not cover hospice and palliative care at the same time. As the days and weeks move forward, we get closer to these harder decisions. 

I write this throughout the week and update as needed. One morning, later in the week, Chele woke up vomiting. No explanation this time. The neurologist calls these seizure type moments probably caused by existing brain lesions. I called the on-call oncologist who prescribed a high dose of steroids. Michelle remained lethargic and non-communicative for 24 hours. She had a seizure type activity while transferring her to the wheelchair after that, which was scary for both of us. She does remember it and is aware of what is going on.

Highlight of the week Chele and I spent time together, hand in hand. We watched TV and ate meals together. I am loving every minute I get with her right now.

Random Fact of the Week Where did those dancing inflatable men, called Tubemen, AirDancers or “tall boys”, originally come from? Trinidadian Carnival artist Peter Minshall created these long-armed, long-legged, exuberant dancers. Plastic, body-shaped tubes set on fans for the 1996 Summer Olympics. Minshall’s Olympics creative partner Doron Gazit controversially patented the tubes without Minshall, and now we can see them waving wildly from used car lots and cell phone stores. 

Turns out that vertical inflatables also make for good scarecrows. Farmer Gary Long says that he saw bird damage declining in his orchard of honey crisp apples from 20,000 pounds a year to zero.

Did you know? Michelle never uses the words dumb or stupid. She Thinks the words are degrading and demeaning. 

Throwback Love Story “THE PROTECTOR PART II” When Michelle and I heard that Leesie was adopted less than 48 hours after intake, we realized there was nothing we could do except possibly sue a non-profit organization. We still would not get our dog back; it would take months or maybe years, so we decided it was not worth the hassle. We are not the litigious type and did not see what satisfaction we would get out of it. I contacted the same breeder in west Texas and asked if he had any puppies left. He had 1, Sansa. Sansa fit right in at first. She hung out at the barn with Titan and loved hanging out with the sheep and chickens. Truth be told, she loved chasing the chickens too, it was a fun game for a young puppy. Every night we would hear the coyotes howl and we knew our sheep were protected. 

The pasture was far from secure. Michelle and I spent weeks putting up square sheep fencing around the entire 20 acres of our ranch. We did a decent job but there were areas where puppies like Sansa and Titan could get out. Plus, it was impossible to fence in the lake. Getting out and roaming free became an everyday occurrence. I would always find Titan, not too far away but Sansa would be gone. It would take hours on the gator searching for her, before I would finally find her and bring her home. I tried electric fencing, electric collars, leashes, ropes and kennels. Eventually I knew that Titan would stay around the ranch and Sansa was the wild one. She was the one teaching Titan how to explore. My solution was to keep Sansa tied up and Titan lose. This worked, if I did not think too much about it. Thinking about it, brough on guilt. I hated to be one of those people who contain their dogs. Titan would get out from time to time, I’d get a call from the neighbor saying he was in their yard, or they saw him walking near their house. 

It was 104 degrees one day and I got a call from the neighbor. Titan decided to use their doggy door and hide behind the bathroom toilet. Titan is not a small dog. Some say they have never seen a bigger dog than Titan. Him fitting through a doggy door is a challenge. The image of him “behind” a toilet was inconceivable. When I picked him up, he was happy to see me, confused as to why I would be upset.  I am sure he was thinking who wouldn’t want to find shelter in 104-degree heat? I also learned he had also climbed up in bed with them. This is not the dog I knew. It still isn't.  Meanwhile, we had some decisions to make. It was time to - get a donkey for protection, find Sansa a better place to roam, and move Titan into the house. I asked the doggy door neighbor if they could watch Sansa for us while we decided on what we needed to do with her. Titan no longer needed to sneak through doggy doors and was very content in the air-conditioned house, leaving only on cool mornings and for bathroom emergencies. Our neighbor still has Sansa. As for the Donkey? You will have to wait for part III on that story. 

Deep Thoughts What runs our generators? For the tubeman, you just plug him in, and the generator produces air and this wacky waving airdancer makes us smile. For us humans though, what fuels our generator? Food is the obvious choice. Fluids too, pretty obvious. Something not so obvious is emotions and attitude. I've seen in our cancer journey that positivity affects attitude. The human brain has a natural tendency to give weight to negative experiences or interactions more than positive ones. This is called negativity bias. I have learned that if we channel out the negative bias and focus more on the mountain of good things in our lives, the outcome is beneficial for both Chele and me. Is it hard and challenging? Of course, it is.

Air Dancing Daytime "Snack vs. Chef” (Netflix) Twelve chefs go head-to-head in a snack showdown; they must recreate iconic snacks, while inventing original snacks inspired by beloved classics; only one chef will prevail to claim the $50,000 prize.

“Beat Bobby Flay”, “MasterChef”, “Worst Cooks in America”, Football

Inflatable Primetime “Central Intelligence” (HULU) (★★★) Bullied as a teen for being overweight, Bob Stone (Dwayne Johnson) shows up to his high school reunion looking fit and muscular. While there, he finds Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart), a fast-talking accountant who misses his glory days as a popular athlete. Stone is now a lethal CIA agent who needs Calvin's number skills to help him save the compromised U.S. spy satellite system. Together, the former classmates encounter shootouts, espionage and double-crosses while trying to prevent worldwide chaos.

“Midnight Mass” (Netflix) (★★★), Football

“Flailing Flame”

The Menu

Wacky Starters

THC Gummies

Mandarin Oranges

Jellybeans 

The Inflatables

Pizza

Panko Crusted Cod (★★★)

Chicken Jambalaya (★★) Too spicy again

Pizza

BBQ chicken Sammie’s (★★★)

The Blower

Green Beans

Fried Corn

Mixed Veggies

Protein Shake

Love you,

Brian

www.WarlordsFlail.com

Life Is Not A Bed Of Roses

Life is not a bed of roses. Daisies and sunflowers were not in the picture this week either. Michelle had a severe reaction to some pain medication that was prescribed to her. If you can imagine trying to lift someone into a car who has no control over their body, you can imagine part of our week. I was able to get Michelle into the oncology center for fluids and strong anti-nausea meds. After 2 days she returned to an “almost” new-normal.

Blood tests and an MRI of the brain did not reveal any abnormalities caused from the reaction. Michelle stayed tired and not motivated to do much. In addition to the tailbone pain she had from a fall she suffered a few weeks ago, she now has knee pain also. This was from her husband taking 45 minutes to load a wet noodle into the car after fluids and an anti-nausea infusion. Michelle does not remember much from the day. 

Chele’s sense of taste has disappeared again. She says things taste like cardboard. It has been a month since her last cisplatin infusion and over a week since her last IT chemo, so we are unclear what is causing this. Not being able to taste has brought on a slight depression. Hopefully the taste comes back, and Chele’s mood returns to where it was a week or so ago. 

 Highlight of the week Chele spent about 2 hours on the back patio this week. She enjoyed listening to the birds chirping and watching the one blue heron fish with its sister bird the snowy egret on Luck Lake. Her smile never left her face the entire time. We sat together hand in hand, and it felt like just 5 minutes.

Random Fact of the Week A Bed of roses is an expression that represents a carefree life. In the thirteenth-century poem “Le Roman de la Rose”, a Lover recounts his dream of touring a garden and finding a beautiful bed of roses by the Fountain of Love. The expression is also used by later poets. Here is a line in Christopher Marlowe's poem The Passionate Shepherd to His Love. This was published posthumously in 1599; Marlowe was stabbed to death in 1593.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;.

Did you know? When Michelle and I first met, she would yell “fools” whenever she saw cars or signs saying, “Just Married”.  I am ever so fortunate that tune changed!

Throwback Love Story “THE PROTECTOR PART I” We decided to get sheep in the summer of 2019. The thought was to knock down the weeds in the pasture that the cows don’t eat, this would be great for pasture maintenance. We have a lot of coyotes in the country and coyotes like the taste of sheep. I needed a dog to watch over and protect them and a donkey to hang out with them and scare away any immediate threats that might linger. We did some research on what kind of dog we wanted. Everyone has a Great Pyrenees. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t get something that everyone has. I wanted something unique, working dog caliber like a Pyrenees. It didn’t take me long to find the perfect breed, “The Anatolian Shepherd”. We decided to get a purebred because I knew getting the perfect purebred dog, he would do his job and protect the sheep, and the entire farm. Chele and I found a breeder in Tennessee that was making a trip south soon and agreed to bring Titan to us. He and his siblings were named after professional football teams and Titan was a fitting name for this dog. He was a perfect fit for us. We brought him home and introduced him to his new friends at the barn. It was obvious he was not raised with training on the shepherd mentality. He wanted to protect us, not sheep. Chele and I decided we needed to find him a female mate. We found an Anatolian Shepherd breeder here in Texas with girls, so we picked Leesie and introduced her to Titan. 

Keeping 2 puppies in the pasture was not easy. I now understand the best way to do this was to have the puppies learn from their parents, without this, it’s instinct. Unfortunately, this meant the dogs would wander. Working dogs like to protect the outer perimeter of the property keeping predators from coming in. One morning, I went down to check on the puppies and I could only find Titan. Leesie was missing. We searched everywhere. We went door to door and put flyers in mailboxes. We even put-up signs on telephone poles but did not get results. 3 days went by, and she was still missing. Chele and I were walking down to the barn, looking for Leesie again when we saw a family walking down our road. We asked them if they had seen our dog. They did not answer us, which was strange. They mumbled something in Spanish then I heard one of them say “no habla”. I saw them on their way back down our one-way street and begged them for an answer and one of them scoffed and said, “Have you checked the dog pound?” We did call several of the kennels near us right after Leesie disappeared and none of them reported seeing her. We later learned that Leesie followed the family home one day and they thought she had Parvo. They called Animal Control who oddly picked her up almost immediately. She was taken to a facility south central Austin to be screened for Parvo. It had been less than 72 hours since we lost her, so our hopes were high that we would get her back.

Chele and I went to the animal shelter and found they had released her after treating her for dehydration. She was sent to an adoption clinic less than 24 hours earlier. We went there to find they had already adopted her out. We were devastated. How does this happen? While I am sure this facility does great work for a lot of people and pets, they did not do great by us. I guess the 72 hours hold rule does not apply to all the animals. Good thing there is a part II to this story, until next week.

Deep Thoughts Roses are so beautiful. They can be so many different colours too. (Any SNL watchers here?) With that beauty comes the stem of thorns. They grow with a stem of thorns, not pretty until they bloom. I look at a rose bush every morning sitting at my kitchen table. Some days I see blooms, other days full of beautiful flowers. Sometimes it is empty with no blooms or flowers. Every day there are thorns. You can’t really see them though, you can only feel them, and there are a lot. I can correlate the roses with Chele, that’s easy, but what about the thorns? Is that the cancer? I can't physically see cancer, but I sure can feel it. It has felt like a thorn in my side. Maybe the thorns serve as protection for Chele’s survival right now, making them vital in her journey.

Bushy Daytime "The Great British Bake Off" -reruns (Netflix), “Survivor” (Paramount +)

Primrose Primetime “The Voice” (YouTube TV), “The Morning Show” (Apple TV) Season 3, "The Great British Bake Off" (Netflix), Football

“Thorny Bristle”

The Menu

Roots

THC Gummies

Mandarin Oranges

Pineapple Chunks

Jellybeans 

The Rose Pedals

Wild Elk Rice Casserole (★★★★)

Chicken pot pie

Personal Pan Pizza

Chicken Nuggies (★★)

Pulled Pork

Bratwurst

Stems

Mixed Veggies

Carrots

Rice

Tater Tots

Treats

Cake

Love you,

Brian

www.BedOfNails.edu

The Opossumable Is Just An Opinion.

 The opossumable is just an opinion. You have probably never heard that idiom before because I just made it up but when you believe, you believe. Anything is possible. Michelle has had a cheerful outlook all week. The week started Freezing cold, waking up in the 30’s. Chele stayed warm by the fire most days until we hit the upper 70’s by Saturday. She kept her spirits high during IT chemo this week. No illness this week, hooray! She slept most of the day after chemo. I can see that her body and mind getting weaker is frustrating for her.

Next week will be a busy one so I canceled the IT treatment. 3 MRIs with and without contrast on Tuesday and neurologist on Thursday.  

Highlight of the week Michelle spent time with her granddaughter Reagan this week. It was Regan’s birthday and we got to spend a few hours with her here at the house.

Random Fact of the Week The opossum is the Earth's oldest surviving mammal. It's nicknamed the “living fossil,” and for good reason: This animal has survived virtually unchanged since the Cretaceous/Paleogene extinction event 65 million years ago, which marked the end of the dinosaurs. There is a fact you might not have known. Opossums have opposable thumbs; they even have “thumbs” on their hind feet. They're the only non-primates in the world to have this bonus, and they use them to full advantage. You see, opossums are remarkably intelligent (especially given their teeny-tiny brains, which are one-fifth the size of a raccoon's), so they actually use those thumbs to open latches, containers and fasteners. (This is what makes them so efficient at getting into your garbage cans.) What's more, the opossum's tail is prehensile, which means the tail can wrap around branches and vines to help the animal climb. It is also a night creature that can see better by moon light. 

Did you know? Michelle loves watching horror movies. Pet Cemetery, Aliens and Halloween are the top 3 on her list.

Throwback Love Story It was the summer of ’69. Okay, maybe not but Bryan Adams’ voice sang in my head when I was writing this. Sometime back in the summer of ’09, Michelle was fresh out of surgery. She had bunions on both feet that gave her trouble. The trouble was with pain and fashion. We decided it was time to get them fixed. I know what you are saying, wait, he’s already told us a story about bunion surgery. Believe it or not, there was more than one bunion memory of ’09. #wheelchairraces

Michelle was laid up in bed for a week and I was running around the house doing chores. I went outside to gather the chicken eggs and our little dog Trixie followed me out into the back yard. Just as soon as I opened the door the dog shot out the door faster than a torpedo launch from a WWII submarine. Next thing I know she had an opossum in her mouth. Michelle’s mut rat dog just killed an opossum, wow. I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed or ticked off. At first, I was proud. Look what “my” dog did. Then I started thinking about the cleanup. Dang it, “Michelle’s” dog just killed a live animal, now I must clean it up. I called the dog into the house and went to grab a bag for disposal. On my way back out, I of course needed to let Chele know how displeased I was with “her” dog. Michelle was the one who cleaned up after dead and nasty things at this point in our marriage. Michelle always has had a strong constitution. She chuckled and asked if I could please record my gagging. I scoffed at that idea and stormed out of the bedroom. I puffed out my chest, determined to clean up this dead animal with pride, I made my way to the back yard where low and behold – he played opossum. Yup, literally gone. Man did I ever feel stupid. I came back into the house, confidently singing Bryan Adams “I got my first real six-string, bought it at the five and dime”. I hear Chele screamed to me from the bedroom “did you get it?” – Oh I got, got all right. We still laugh about this to this day. 

Deep Thoughts Should I be playing opossum with my emotions? There’s a difference between ignoring the fact that life is difficult in the present moment and thinking that life will always be difficult. Am I willing to acknowledge the grief rather than live in it? Can I adjust my expectation from "I'll always be happy" to "my hardships will come and go, and this too shall one day pass"? Not yet I'm not. I believe I am happy. I don't even think I am playing opossum. By the way, it’s only a possum if you’re in Australia and that’s a completely different animal.

Dead Possum Daytime “Haunted Mansion” (Disney +) (★★★) A realtor and his wife and children are summoned to a mansion, which they soon discover is haunted, and while they attempt to escape, he learns an important lesson about the family he has neglected.

"The Great British Bake Off" -reruns (Netflix), “Survivor” (Paramount +)

Opossum Primetime “Yes Day” (Netflix) (★★★) Always feeling like they have to say "no" to their kids, Allison and Carlos decide to give their three kids a "Yes Day," during which the kids have 24 hours to make the rules.

“Pigeon Tunnel” (Apple TV) (★★) Filmmaker Errol Morris pulls back the curtain on the storied life and career of David Cornwell, the former spy known to the literary world as John le Carré. 

“The Fall of the House of Usher” (Netflix) (★★★★)

“The Morning Show” (Apple TV) Season 3, "The Great British Bake Off" (Netflix), Football

“Playin’ Possum”

The Menu

Starters

THC Gummies

Pineapple Chunks

Jellybeans

Trash Can Pan

Crab Legs (★★★★)

Pan Seared Salmon (★★½) – a little well done

New Orleans Style Shrimp Scampi with Pasta ( ★★½) – too spicy

Taco Soup

Pizza

Garlic Parmesan Chicken (★½) – Dry Chicken 

Tortilla Crusted Tilapia (★★★★)

Extras

Green Beans

Sweet Corn

Mashed Potatoes

Rice

Tater Tots

Treats

Round Rock Donuts

Love you,

Brian

www.PossomVsOpossomNotTheSane.org

Weak as a Dehydrated Lily

Michelle has been as weak as the lily plant I forgot to water last week, trying so hard to grow strong again on the kitchen counter. It doesn’t like being anywhere else for some reason. Several leaves yellowed that I’ve since trimmed. So now what? It sits, trying to find its place, on my kitchen counter. 

Chele was weak after IT this week but did not get nauseated or sick. I gave her Zofran and Xanax which kept her sleepy and weak. She slowly recovered and I continue to try to find the right formula for her day after treatment illness she has been experiencing. This is not easy. 

Highlight of the week Another trip to Hobby Lobby this week was a great time for Chele. She bought some stamps for card making and a paint by numbers picture. She wants to feel normal again. I was excited to see her creative side trying to come out again.

Random Fact of the Week Ancient Egyptians included lilies in the funeral ceremonies for mummies because they saw power in this flower. Lilies continued to grow in popularity for religious occasions. In artwork, the Virgin Mary is often found holding white bundles of lilies, representing her purity. One of the most popular lilies is the Easter lily plant, which has become one of the most prominent symbols for Easter. In Chinese culture, lilies are known to symbolize good luck and long-lasting love.

In addition to their usage at religious ceremonies, lilies have also been used for medicinal purposes. The buds or oils of the lily have been known to reduce fever and make skin firmer, thus lessening wrinkles.

Did you know? Michelle loves lilies. It was the bridal bouquet she carried in our wedding. Someone just asked recently what her favorite flower was, and without hesitation she said, “it will always be the lily”.

Deep Thoughts I have been thinking a lot about this dumb lily plant. It was so weak, leaves drooping down, stems bent beyond repair, such a change from the vibrant plant it used to be. Michelle love lilies and was so sad to see the condition. Fresh water on the root bed and a new location helped. I also wiped each leaf down and cleaned the built-up dust and dirt off. I talked while I did this. The plant is recovering now. How close is this to Chele? Is she my sweet lily? So weak and frail, drooping as she walks. Encouragement and nourishment. I watch as the week goes on and she no longer needs her walker. She grows stronger each day, up to treatment day. Then it’s back to the counter and I need to wipe the dust off her leaves again.

Throwback Love Story It was 2am sometime is 2003 and the phone rings. I have been a light sleeper for a long time. I answer the phone on the first ring, and it was someone from work (MCI) asking for Michelle. “Hi Brian, is Spence there?” Michelle’s maiden name is Spencer so people at work called her Spence. It took a bit for me to get Chele to respond to me, but I eventually got her to realize she had a phone call. She grabbed the phone and started talking. 

“Have you rebooted the system? Type in SET HOST/RLOGIN” I listened to the conversation for about 15 minutes go on and on. Finally, the call was over, and I asked if everything went ok, she said it was fine, there was just someone who didn’t know how to use VMS that was on shift. I got them all fixed up, she said. I hung the phone up for her (we had a landline back then) and we went back to sleep. 

The following morning, we were enjoying coffee by the pool, before we started our day. I asked her about the 2am call. I wanted to see if there was a learning point for me to pick up on. She taught me a lot about work stuff, she’s smart and trust me, I listened – most of the time. When I questioned her, she had no idea what I was talking about. She had no recollection of being on the phone at 2am. It takes special kind of knowledge and person to be able to troubleshoot a problem to resolution for your job, literally in your sleep.

H2Daytime "The Great British Bake Off" -reruns (Netflix), “Survivor” (Paramount +), “Amazing Race” (Paramount +)

Primetime Soil “The Fall of the House of Usher” (Netflix) (★★★★), "The Great British Bake Off" (Netflix), Football

“The Lily Pad”

The Menu

Starters

THC Gummies

Mandarin Oranges

Pineapple Chunks

Flowering Blooms

Jambalaya

Hamburgers (★★★)

Chicken Cacciatore (★★) – too thick

Crab Ravioli  (★★½)

Beef Tenderloin

Swiss Steak(★★) – too spicy

Pork Chops (★★★★)

Stems

Green Beans

Carrots

Ranch Style Beans

Fried Corn

Watering

Enterade

Aldi Lemonade

Aldi Strawberry Lemonade

Treats

Ice Cream

Jellybeans

Love you,

Brian

www.SaveTheLily.org

Her Smile is Brighter than a Welder's Arc

Chele’s smile was brighter than a welder’s arc this week. It was a chemo week, which means 3 straight days of chemotherapy. This was the last round of 6, so no scheduled cisplatin infusions in the near future. Day one is 6 hours long. Normal chemo weeks Chele is worn out and sleepy. Walking can be a challenge and she stays dehydrated and exhausted. This week she was walking around saying she needed the exercise. She smiled more than she frowned and just seemed happier. Day 2 lasted about 2 ½ hours because she also had IT chemo. Day 3 was the shortest day at around 90 minutes. Day 3 was the worst. The harsh reality is the day after IT she will always have a bad day. Once a week she will be dehydrated, not want to eat and stay nauseated. She had the strongest anti-nausea drugs this week and the results were the same. Day 4, there were no appointments, just recovery. She finally was eating normal by dinner. We spent a quiet relaxing weekend at home, no nausea or illness to report. Lots of sleeping but no sickness. Chele is very weak again. Rest and recovery.

Random Fact of the Week What is an arc? An electrical potential difference must exist between two points for an arc to form: There is a surfeit of electrons (the negatively charged elementary particles within the atomic shell) at one end, and hence a negative charge. At the other end, the lack of electrons results in a positive electrical charge. This difference generates a voltage. A phenomenon known as a dielectric breakdown occurs under certain conditions. This happens when physical forces attempt to balance out the difference between the charges. A channel is created in which the heat and high voltage ionize the gas between the poles to form an electrically conductive plasma. Only current can flow through this plasma channel. Depending on the type of power source, the breakdown can occur as a spark or a flash and is extinguished just as rapidly as soon as the difference in charge is balanced out. Alternatively, it can continue to burn as an arc.

Did you know? Michelle changed her hairstyle when she changed men. After 15 years of marriage, she finally cut her long hair short, I was lucky she didn’t cut me short too! I have added a photo of her with short hair.

Throwback Love Story Life before our ranch, we owned 1.5 acres in a suburb of Austin. It was dense with trees which meant the temperature was always 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the city. It also meant plenty of wildlife. Chele had chickens of course and we needed good fences to keep the bigger critters from a free lunch. I don’t like to hire much out, so I decided putting a fence around the perimeter would be relatively simple. I bought some hog panels and tack welded those to existing posts around the property. I am far from a professional welder, but tack welding isn’t an art. It is a touch of the arc just enough to tack metal to metal. I needed to do this 2 times per pole and there were about 50 poles. I had all my safety gear on, gloves, pants, welder’s jacket, the works. Helmet in hand I started the work. After about the 3rd pole, lifting the helmet got to be a real nuisance. I decided I would get my weld prepped, then just when I was ready for the arc, I could close my eyes real tight and tack it. This worked perfectly. No helmet needed; the job went so much faster. I was safe and all was well. I finished the fence and helped Chele with her projects for the day. We enjoyed a quiet evening at home, we watched Survivor on TV and I thought “I could do that. I need to apply, lol” We headed off to bed around 10pm. I woke up at 3am with something in my eye. It felt like metal. I went into the bathroom and tried to wash it out. I frantically woke Michelle up asking for her help. She too could not see or get the metal out of my eyes. 

We are seen almost immediately at the ER. The ER doc asked for my story, and I tell him I was working with some metal putting up fence earlier in the day and I thought I had grinded some metal into my eyes. He put a numbing agent into my eyes that gave instant relief. An examination and an orbit x-ray were done, but nothing was found. The pain started to return about 15 minutes after they gave me the eye drops. The doc came back in and gave me more pain medicine and asked me to step through exactly what I was doing. This is when I mentioned I was welding. He stopped me immediately and said, “You have welders’ eye” He gave me some medicine and sent me on my way. Michelle did not let that go. She first said “Really? No helmet? What were you thinking” Of course she was concerned and happy this was not permanent, now that it was over though, I got the 3rd degree. Every time I pick up a welder’s helmet, I think of that lecture I got from her that day “and getting me up at 3am because you were not smart” (She doesn’t like using the word stupid) “No helmet. I can’t believe that”. "What made you think that you couldn't burn your eyeball through your eyelids Brian?" Then it was a soft kiss and an "I love you"

Deep Thoughts Moods and emotions are complex. It's thought that three factors combine to create them in the brain: biology (for example, hormones and brain chemicals), psychology (such as personality and learned responses), and environment (like illness and emotional stress). Common, everyday causes of a negative mood are: Stress, Poor sleep, Tiredness and Overwork. I've realized that my sleep directly affects my activities during the day. If I get a good night's sleep, I have more energy and take more action. With less sleep I complain more and push blame on other things. 

Guiding Light "The Great British Bake Off" (Netflix), “Survivor” (Paramount +), “Amazing Race” (Paramount +), “Big Brother” (Paramount +) 

Primetime Spark “The Fall of the House of Usher” (Netflix) (★★★★) Siblings Roderick and Madeline Usher have built a pharmaceutical company into an empire of wealth, privilege and power; however, secrets come to light when the heirs to the Usher dynasty start dying.  

“Bad Sisters” (Apple TV), “The Morning Show” (Apple TV) Season 3, Football, Hockey

“Welders Whey”

The Menu

Starters

THC Gummies

Mandarin Oranges

The Arc

Crème of Chicken, unsalty ass Chicken (★) Under seasoned this time

Beef Sausage (★) not my favorite -chele

Meatloaf (★★★★)

Fried Cod (★★★)

Classic Chicken Sandwich

Sweet and Sour Chicken (★★★)

Brazing

Green Beans

Sweet Corn 

Carrots

Fluids

Enterade

Aldi Lemonade

 

Love you,

Brian

www.WeldersEyeHurts.com

Breaking the Back of the Beast

Chele broke the back of the beast this week, IT treatment proved challenging as it was followed by only one day of sickness. We are still in a learning curve on how to handle intrathecal chemotherapy. Next week she will try taking anti-nausea meds the night of treatment. Hopefully this will reduce the illness on the day after the treatment.

The rest of the week was good. Week 3 after chemo is always Chele’s strongest week. Her confidence continues as her strength grows each day. I have noticed more confusion and forgetfulness.  

Highlight of the week We went to Costco this week. Chele stopped at an end cap and was enjoying a free sample of Chobani yogurt. The Club Demonstration Services employee, otherwise known as a free sample worker, was working Michelle hard, trying to sell her some Greek yogurt. I had stepped away to grab something out of the freezer and I heard this guy’s sales pitch” It reduces your appetite and hunger while boosting your metabolism, Chobani prides itself on encouraging good mental health and lowering blood pressure. It's even been known to help improve bone health”. Michelle looks up at him from her Costco Shopping EV and gives him a crooked smile. He kind of stops mid-sentence and says, "uh umm don't feel obligated ma'am, would you like me to put one in your basket?" I was hiding by the nearby cooler when she caught me chuckling at her. She couldn’t contain her own laughter.

So, I'm loading this case of Chobani yogurts into the car in the parking lot and she says, “I will not eat those yogurts, if you want to return them. I did not want to be rude to the nice man.”  

Random Fact of the Week Oftentimes, patients believe there is a difference between bone fractures and breaks. Many people wrongly believe that "fracture" refers to a crack while a "break" is an obviously separated bone. However, orthopedic professionals have spoken out against this belief, explaining that "fracture" is the term medical professionals use to describe any crack or break in a bone. I feel mine when the weather changes.

Did you know? Michelle doesn’t like peanut butter. It’s always hard for people to believe that Michelle doesn’t like peanut butter. Treats are shared with Reese’s Pieces, and she will plain pass. What’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander.  

Throwback Love Story It was October 19th, 2022, our anniversary. We had a nice day. I did not take the day off work. Michelle and I planned on going to dinner that night. It was our 20th wedding anniversary, but it landed in the middle of the week. We had plans to spend the weekend babysitting the grandkids in OKC then it was off to Vegas for a 20-year wedding celebration. At dinner I asked Michelle if she heard back from the rheumatologist about side effects on a new drug she started. We noticed some slurred speech earlier in the week, but we were not too alarmed. The rheumatologist said there was no way the drug had anything to do with slurred speech and Michelle should see her primary care doctor or go to urgent care. I asked Michelle ~when~ she heard back from the rheumatologist, and she said it was early in the morning. She proceeded to tell me that she did not want to ruin our anniversary with this news and figured it could wait. Classic Michelle. We contacted her primary care doctor on Thursday morning, and she advised us to go to urgent care immediately.

Waiting on the results of the cat scan of Michelle’s brain, we were both optimistic we would be released shortly. The internal medicine doctor returned with the results and suggested we cancel our weekend travel plans and he made arrangements for us to spend the night in the hospital. One night turned into 6. Not having a clear understanding of what was going on, I asked the charge nurse for a better explanation. The internal medicine doctor called our room and was quite rude. He was wondering what information I needed. He continued to explain that Chele had a bunch of lesions in her brain. A bunch means, draw a circle on the ground and throw a handful of pebbles in it. Reality, harsh as it was. We did not expect our time with Michelle would be very long. 10 weeks of radiation calmed Chele’s neurological symptoms.

Blood thinners were prescribed after a blood clot was caught in her lungs this past January. Another round of directed radiation was ordered in early June after chest pain with deep breathing landed Chele back in the ER. It was then Michelle decided to start a chemotherapy regimen to try to stop the further cancer growth in her body. Chele had an Ommaya Reservoir put in, this past September. This delivers chemotherapy directly to the brain and spine to help with her neurological symptoms affected by the cancer.  

Maybe not the love story you are used to seeing in my updates, but a love story it is. We continue our journey, 1 year strong.

Deep Thoughts Positive thinking has the power to turn a day full of nausea and sickness into a dream date spent with my soul mate. While a delicious Crème Bismarck from Round Rock Donuts is always a good idea, there is something about just spending time with Chele that feeds my soul in a way that even the best cookie dough blizzard can’t do.

Daily Beast “Chicago Fire” (Peacock), "The Great British Bake Off" (Netflix), “Survivor” (Paramount +), “Amazing Race” (Paramount +), “Big Brother” (Paramount +) You? (Netflix)

Primetime Beat “Bad Sisters” (Apple TV), Broncos/Vikings/Longhorns Football, Twins Baseball, “Jessica Jones” (Disney +)

“Beauty and the Feast”

The Menu

Starters

 THC Gummies + (★★★★★) lol

Almonds

Beastly Bites

Chicken Sliders

Pizza (★★★★)

Frankenstein Stroganoff (★★)

Taco Salad

Salty Ass Chicken (★)

Turkey (★★★)

The Side

Veggie Mix

Protein Shake

Fries

Fluids

Enterade

Aldi Lemonade

Love you,

Brian

www.beastlybeautiful.com